Reframing Our Relationship With Women’s Bodies

Women are often taught explicitly and implicitly that our bodies are something to manage, control, or improve. Over time, that message can turn inward, shaping how we see ourselves and how we treat our bodies day to day.

Sometimes, we feel disconnected from our bodies. We may wish they looked different, smaller, flatter, or closer to an ideal we’ve absorbed from culture, social media, or past experiences. In pursuit of that ideal, it’s easy to fall into patterns that don’t actually feel good physically or emotionally.

The emotional cost of this can be significant. Constant monitoring, comparison, and self-criticism can quietly take up a lot of mental space. Over time, our bodies can begin to feel less like something we live in and more like something we’re constantly evaluating.

The truth is, your body doesn’t need to be a project. And you don’t need to earn comfort in your own skin. This doesn’t mean ignoring health, care, or change, but rather loosening the belief that your body must constantly be fixed in order to be worthy of attention or respect.

Gentle Ways to Shift Your Relationship With Your Body

If this resonates, here are some supportive, realistic ways you can begin to change how you relate to your body without striving for perfection.

• Move your body for the experience, not just the outcome.
  Exercise doesn’t have to be about changing how your body looks. Consider focusing on how movement feels instead. Choose activities you genuinely enjoy or feel curious about like walking, yoga, dancing, tennis, kickboxing, or a class that feels social or energizing. You don’t have to stare at a wall doing exercises you hate just to hit a number. Wanting outcomes doesn’t make you shallow or wrong, the invitation here is simply to notice whether enjoyment, curiosity, or connection can exist alongside those goals.
  
  

• Let go of restrictions around food.
  When we try to overly control or restrict what we eat, it often backfires. Our bodies respond to deprivation with increased hunger and urgency. Instead, aim to eat food that feels nourishing and satisfying, allowing for balance and moderation. Food is not a moral issue. It’s fuel, comfort, culture, and pleasure. Structure and flexibility can coexist, and learning what supports your body without tipping into deprivation often takes time, patience, and experimentation.
  
  

• Notice and interrupt negative body talk.
  Pay attention to how you speak about your body, both internally and out loud. If you notice harsh or critical thoughts, practice gently redirecting them. This doesn’t mean forcing positivity, it can be as simple as acknowledging something your body allows you to do, or speaking to yourself the way you would to a close friend.
  
  

• Revisit your wardrobe with compassion.
  When was the last time you wore something that made you feel comfortable and confident in your body? If certain clothes no longer fit or no longer feel good, that’s not a failure, it's information. Your body changes, and your clothing should adapt to you, not the other way around.This doesn’t necessarily mean buying new clothes or spending money, even small adjustments or letting go of items that no longer serve you can shift how you experience your body day to day.
  
  

• Practice being a little more adventurous with your body.
  It can be tempting to default to the same oversized or “safe” clothing because it feels comfortable and familiar. While comfort matters, you might also experiment with wearing something you’ve been avoiding out of self-consciousness, even for just a day. It doesn’t have to be permanent or a statement. It’s simply an experiment. Discomfort may still show up, and that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Confidence isn’t the only goal, but giving yourself permission to try without deciding what it means about you.
  
  

• Question the idea of an “ideal body.”
  Take some time to reflect on what your ideal body looks like and where that image came from. Bodies are shaped by many factors: genetics, hormones, metabolism, stress, mental health, life experiences, illness, pregnancy, and aging. Many women have reproductive organs that require space. Many experience bloating, GI issues, or fluctuations due to stress and anxiety. Bodies are constantly adapting and responding. Understanding that an ideal is unrealistic doesn’t automatically change how you feel, but it can be a starting point for loosening the grip those expectations have on your self-worth.
  
  

Our bodies are always doing something. They are not static or flawless objects, they are living systems. Sometimes they feel uncomfortable or imperfect. Other times, they feel strong, capable, or even good. Learning to accept this complexity is often more sustainable than chasing an unrealistic standard.

You don’t have to love your body every day. But finding ways to coexist with it without constant judgment can create more space for ease, presence, and self-respect.